illuminate

True blue Australian

2008-05-28T09:52:00.005+10:00

It has been a while since I've come back to this old dusty little thing... 1 or 2 years ago? Only the aged elderly would remember.

I decided to write in this (it probably won't be very frequent due to time constraints) because I don't have facebook and I couldn't be bothered to get that 'social' website (for 150 friends you have you only have 1 real friend in real life). Who knows maybe I'll get it...one day (I always say that).

I doubt anyone would read this, but it's to write down my opinions on the world..My analytical thoughts about the Nation (Australia) and the world.

To start with, I want to highlight Australia and racism. The recent rejection of an Islamic school in Camden to be precise.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/05/28/2257535.htm?section=australia

Now, I know the Islam religion has been painted in such a black light since the twin towers and the 'war' on terror..

Let me point out, there is a difference between Islam and Radical Islamics.

Islam is a teaching that in no sense teaches violence or terrorism.

Now Islamic radicalists are individuals who take those teachings out of context, misuse it and change the teachings of Islam using man made books (Hadith and Sunna- sayings and traditions falsely attributed to the prophet Muhummad).
These are the individuals who want to inflict terror within the world, believe that suicide bombing means they're a martyr for their religion.

In no way am I endorsing Islam, but I want to highlight that there are people out there who do terrible things. They shouldn't be placed under an umbrella of a particular religion.

Australia is no different. I raised my eyebrows at the ignorance this community member had commented,

"We just don't want Muslim people in Camden, we don't want them not only here, we don't want them in Australia."

Now I've grown up in a country, in which I was taught that Australia embraced their multiculturalism and people regardless the skin colour, religion or 'class' was treated as equal.

I've become increasingly aware of the rift between the 'Australians' and the different cultures.

Firstly there was the party One Nation, headed by Pauline Hanson whom had controversial racism ideals.

Then of course the Cronulla riots, which 'white' Australians decided to 'bash wogs and lebs' following 3 Lebanese assaulting lifeguards the weekend prior.

And now, there is this.

Comments like, "get them out of our country" or "go back to where you came from" are increasingly common.

But let us be reminded of our roots, Australians were initially deported to here as criminals,
Australians took the place as their own, taking away the rights of the original owners.

I don't think it is anyone's right to want different races out of the country because they come from a different culture/background or that their religion does not agree with theirs.

If the Australian culture is all about getting rid of the ethnics out of their country, then I have to say I would hate to call myself Australian.

We are a multicultural country, and we should be proud of it.

Signing out,
Lx

imperitive

2006-09-25T15:07:00.000+10:00

...Last night, girl, like a dream
Never felt so good, sleepy smiling...

Everyday that summer, by your side
And it all just seemed everlasting
But then you told me you would move away
And you looked so cute there, you were crying

All this love saved up for nothing
I never felt so blue
And all this love, rainbow styling
All this love saved up for nothing
And this will do me no good...

All This Love- Similou

-thoughts in a nutshell-
:.Learn life.:

Smile a little,
Laugh even more,
Think a little,
Dream even more,

Move a little,
Dance even more,
Like a little,
Love even more,

Look a little,
Appreciate even more,
Breathe a little,
Live even more...

[Romans 2:1-6]

It's that time of the year again... it must be the pollen in the air...

So out of the hibernation throughout the winter and some of the autumn, it was time to appear on the planet once more and inform everyone that I was alive...

...

"I'm alive."

After a thorough dusting and clearing away the cobwebs on my blog, I thought I might as well update on how my life as been within the six months (or is it more?) of absence.

Let's see, considering I'm at my most memorial state of memory called the 'reminiscence bump' I should be able to recall plentiful stories and memories to share...unfortunately for me, I seem to have caught the three-second-goldfish-gene...

The most distinctive memory would be regarding being locked in the cemetery, oh and it was no ordinary cemetery, it had to be the biggest cemetery in the southern hemisphere, Rookwood.

How we had managed that?

Well quite incidently we had decided we needed a place to continue chatting and Kayo, being the clever girl she is suggested that we'd go to Rookwood considering it was across the road from our campus... (makes you wonder where our dead bodies for anatomy come from).

As it neared 8 we had decided we should go out and eat, so as we neared the exit we realised that the gates were shut locked preventing cars from entering and escaping...

So we had climbed out to eat, as food is always the first priority

Then we had decided to call the security number, and they had told us they'd be there within 2 hours, by then it was 10... so there we were waiting and me frantically writing up my assignment, which was due before 12am... yeah, it was an interesting night...

Another memory would be going out and having a campfire, spontaneously we had decided to go on a small adventure... and what better way to have one with fire?

With that decided we ended up going out at 1am with newspaper, toilet paper, marshmellows and blankets towards the coast..

Halfway to the coast:
Alex: Did you remember matches?
Prashant: Damn it...

Yeah luckily we found a service station still open and bought a lighter, as we drove towards the coast unfortunately the rain was pouring so we drove back... headed towards a lookout where the rain had stopped and decided to do our camp fire there, right in front of a memorial on top of a lookout at 3am in the morning!

Two days afterwards we decided to head out clubbing, but we didn't end up staying long.. instead we kidnapped this drunken girl, Alice and headed towards the Bondi Beach at 2am in the morning.

So there we were frolicking in our clubbing gear on the freezing cold sand and the warm water at 2am in the morning...

Alice: Prashant I'm gonna give you 5 seconds before I throw sand at you...
Prashant: No!...
Alice: 5....4....3....
Prashant: *runs off screaming like a girl*

Recently, I fell 14,000 feet off a plane... All for Agatha's 21st! we had about 4000 feet of free fall and the view there was amazing (it was near the beach at woollongong)... there is so much pressure within your ears during free fall it's painful...

but it's definately something everyone has to do once!

A couple of weeks ago we headed off to Dragonfly (A club), and what we discovered was that the Home and Away cast were there!

Maggie: Apparently the Home and Away cast are here!
Prashant: Really?
All three of us: meh, it's not like we watch it to care...

Haha, we were being real idiots though... Prashant recognised a couple of the cast, and there was one Home and Away cast (Chris Hemsworth for those interested) touched our shoulders to order a drink...

Alex: he just touched me! *Pretends to faint*

Haha it was fun though...of course the good comes with the bad, but I thought I'd just leave you with the good memories...

speaking of good yet slightly strange memories, met up with Nay recently which we set off every sensor in every store we set foot in, damn Priceline Lady for not desensitising the items we bought...

We had reached the last store for the day...and we cautiously stepped between the sensitive barriers and there was peace and silence...

Deliriously happy we jumped in joy and hugged, which I'm sure bystanders would have thought us as strange... it was good to catch up with an awesome sister and great friend though, hehe it has been a while indeed...

Something silly-

Daniel: I'm gonna name my kid with a name starting with J.
Alex: Why?
Daniel: Because all the famous singers start with J, like Josh Groban, Joseph Aurther, Jack Johnson, Jewel... Jars of Clay...

*note Jars of Clay is a name of a Christian band, not a singer...*

Signing out,
Lx

p.s. I just wanted to see who would be the first to read this post, without any prompting just seeing who actually checks up on the progress (or lack there of) of my blog...

So if you've read my post or groaned at my lengthy post and skimmed through it... click on the illuminations/comment button and type in you've read (or attempted to) my blog... and you may win a prize (*may* being the keyword)

intestines

2006-04-19T00:38:00.000+10:00

By the time you get this message
It's gonna be too late...
Well at first I didn't know
But now it's clear to me...

I gotta get this off my mind
You wasn't worth my time
So I'm leaving you behind...

I gotta shake it off
Cause the loving ain't the same
and you keep on playing games
Like you know I'm here to stay...
I really gotta get up outta here
And go somewhere
I gotta shake it off
Gotta make that move
Find somebody who
Appreciated all the love I give...
Gotta do what's best for me

Shake It Off- Mariah Carey

-thoughts in a nutshell-
:.pasttimes .:
Screams of memories,
forgotten over time.
Sorting of dreams,
lingering in darkness.
Smiles of occasions,
fading behind silhouettes.
Shadows of the longing,
forever neglected.
Silence of the past,
living in the present.
-
[Lk 9:60,62]
Yes, the horror... an update from the girl who is
currently confined within her bedroom or the
library for the rest of the week.
To summarise my month

Chocolate
Friends
Family
Dance
Organisation
Haircut
Food
Coldness
Ponders
Stories
Work
Stress
Sims
Sleep deprivation
Illness
...
..
.
Yeah that's about it.
I'm way too buggered to expand any of them-
so that's the best you're gonna get from me
this month.

A big HAPPY EASTER to everyone...
It's a time of celebration, when Jesus
was sacrificed for our sins and ressurected
in three days to defeat Satan!

Here's a thought. Are you self righteous
or humble?
:Self righteous proud people think
they're treated worse than they deserve,
whilst humble people think that they're
treated better than they deserve:

And here are the long awaited photos of things
that have happened from year 12 to last week...
(basically in chronological order,
well as best as my short term memory serves)

2006-04-19T00:22:00.000+10:00

St Clares day, theme: international women... (year 12) Two jap girls :P

2006-04-19T00:20:00.000+10:00

Faby and Timi as indian women dressed in Sari's

2006-04-19T00:19:00.001+10:00

Yay year 12 graduation!

2006-04-19T00:19:00.000+10:00

Timi + Faby- taken a while back...

2006-04-19T00:18:00.000+10:00

Suzie mucking around with the camera- nice photo

2006-04-19T00:17:00.000+10:00

hehe, awesome shot of Faby new years 2005

2006-04-19T00:16:00.000+10:00

Jojo + Suzie- hehe

2006-04-19T00:15:00.000+10:00

Really nice photo of Suzie + Idalia (if it weren't for that fat finger in the way >.<)

2006-04-19T00:14:00.001+10:00

Random, Suzie and Faby posing...

2006-04-19T00:14:00.000+10:00

I love this photo.. hehe, snapped shot of Suzie- looks like a model shot

2006-04-19T00:13:00.000+10:00

Suzie, Faby and I- new years eve 2006 partying...

2006-04-19T00:11:00.000+10:00

Ami + I

2006-04-19T00:10:00.000+10:00

Cute-not-so-ugly-ducklings... don't you just want to put them in your pocket??

2006-04-19T00:08:00.000+10:00

The painted lady...

2006-04-19T00:06:00.000+10:00

Flowers + Snail, my poor attempt of being artistic

2006-04-19T00:05:00.000+10:00

Meow- my kittycat.. Topsy, was mucking around with my phone.

2006-04-19T00:04:00.000+10:00

Kerrie + I, a night out months ago for Carlos' b'day (Kerrie's boyfriend)

2006-04-19T00:03:00.000+10:00

hehe, funny picture of Vaughn and Carey

2006-04-19T00:02:00.000+10:00

Yay! Labcoat + hat pubcrawl!! Awesome night out... ^_^

2006-04-19T00:00:00.000+10:00

Smile: Prashant and I at Pontoon...

2006-04-18T23:58:00.000+10:00

Don't ask me what we were laughing about, but it was funny at the time...

2006-04-18T23:56:00.001+10:00

Really nice photo of Prashant and Agatha! Hehe, what professional photographer did that? (:P)

2006-04-18T23:56:00.000+10:00

Dana and Ags ^_^-its heaps of fun with these girls out.

2006-04-18T23:53:00.000+10:00

Ags, Prashant + I- ready to paint the town red

inscrutable

2006-02-27T00:57:00.000+11:00

Come as you are, as you were,
As I want you to be
As a friend, as a friend, as an old enemy
Take your time, hurry up
The choice is yours, don't be late
Take a rest as a friend as an old memoria

Come dowsed in mud, soaked in bleach
As I want you to be
As a trend, as a friend, as an old memoria

And I swear that I don't have a gun
No I don't have a gun

Come As You Are-Nirvana

-thoughts in a nutshell-
:.Second.:
Drown yourself in tears,
In darkness where no one stares,
Kill yourself in fears,
In shadows where no one cares.

Learnt your lifeless smile,
Give your heart and breath a rest,
Keep within darkness for a while,
after all you're just second best
-
[Song of Songs 1:4 friends]

I was bored.

I had gone through everyone's blog since... well since an hour ago (Damn it everyone update! :P hehe like I can talk) then I thought of how to rid myself of boredom...
Then an epiphany hit me.

To update my own blog :P hehe...

Yes, so everyone can snuggle up in their comfortable seats- or do what I'm doing an swelt away in the uncomfortable heat, frying an egg on their stomach whilst reading the newest (and yet not particularly interesting) episode to the Alex/Ling series.

And shall I begin with this opening... you don't know true horror until...

... You see a cockroach scuttling towards you within your bedroom the almost the size of your palm, then realise that baby roaches are around as well and you can't do anything about till tomorrow... then having a dream that a huge roach was crawling in your mouth...

...You see your elderly neighbour wearing speedos outside the house, talking to another guy in tight trunks... in broad daylight- pot belly and all.
Yes indeed, horror-filled sight that was... I shall never look at my neighbour in the same light once more- in fact may I never look at my neighbour in that again!

... You watching the hairdresser snip off your hair like a two year, as you watch in horror.

Okay, let me take a minute of your time to explain the incompentence this hairdresser had- I had asked for a simple layered cut, easy right?

That's what she had thought too, all she had done as snip off the ends dead straight then attacked the front of my hair with those vicious scissors... the front was an absolute different length to my back, it was chopped above my shoulders and either sides were not even the same length. It was a bobcut at the front with a totally different length at the back.

It was as if a two year old decided to have fun and attempt to cut straight.

The last time I had gone there the haircut was okay (note: not the same hairdresser), but not that great- I don't know why I had even bothered... oh wait, it was cheap- yes the pathetic stupid asian side of me decided my hair wasn't worth more than $30... I honestly don't know why I had bothered, I could have had my little four year old cousin cut my hair for free...

Hairdresser: "So do you want me to cut the fringe as well?"
Me: "no!"- there is no way I want you to touch me with your evil scissors

So I had gone straight home and put a paperbag over my head- never to see the light of day again... well I was tempted to, in anycase I had recut it as best as I could to make it look slightly presentable to the outside world.

On with the Darwin awards- if you do not know what they are, then you obviously have been living underneath the soil of the rock of my own habitat.

Darwin awards, plain and simple are 'awards' given to people who have had incrediably stupid deaths- though they don't necessarily have to be deaths, and so I thought I should share this award with you which has a well taught moral.

So after a date the couple had decided to drive back to a famous couple point, high above a cliff. Now neither were expecting such a wondrous time to turn so terrible whilst, well, having intercourse the pair never heard the thunderstorm above them too wrapped up within each other to care.

So as lighting struck, it had hit the high point upon this rocky cliff, which just so happened to be the poor man's buttocks- which then traveled downwards within his system to ground, melding the couple in the lower regions as the electricity attempted to ground.

Whilst the man was in inscrutable pain, he had survived- unfortunately his partner had not... and so the male unable to move due to his joint skin with his deceased girlfriend was left there overnight.

Early in the morning a bear had entered the high cliff, obviously looking for food- now not wanting to be the next meal, the male had rest there still hoping the bear would leave. The bear however had other plans, the boyfriend had watched in absolute horror as the bear chowed down his girlfriends face before him, smelt and chewed a bit of his head then left.

Still leaving the male alive- he was later found by a bunch of boys scouts, eaten slightly and still attached to his dead and eaten girlfriend.

What a way to die, though I have to say I feel sorry for the poor guy more than I do the girl, imagine going through that kind of trauma- luckily it would be his last time, seeing that his erm...reproductive organ was charred to a stump.

The moral of the story? Don't try this at home kids... :P (Oh and make sure you know the weather forecast)

indication

2006-01-28T12:14:00.000+11:00

Friends tell me it's Spring,
My window shows the same,
... the season's pass me by...

But love had lost its cause,
And I thought- today has been okay...

Winter's burned your skin,
The lovely air so thin...
'Cause life has been insane but,
Today has been okay,
Today has been okay...
Today has been okay- Emiliana Torrini

-Thoughts in a nutshell-
:.shadows.:

Crashing moments,
Crying seperation,
Guilty bonds,
Deathly minds.

Unspoken ship,
Destroyed creation,
Endless Days,
Severely broken.

Sleepless nights,
Drowning tears,
Crashing hope,
Dreamless darkness.
-
[Jn 14:1-7]
It's a new year, new day, new hour, new minute...
It's time to embrace, experience and explore...

And I guess it's also time for a new blog postie.

hrm, considering that it's a new year (28 days ago- or if I want to be chinese... new years is tomorrow- so I'm not late >.<) I guess I'll post this question up to anyone who is willing to reflect- "How was your 2005?"

At times enjoyable.
At times upsetting.
At times fearful.
At times frustrating.
At times just plain SCARY!

All in all- my life was filled with barely any regrets, even if I wish there were times I could correct my errs- okay there are always times that I wish I could. Nonetheless, it was an educational experience of life...
In general, I hope 2005 had made me change for the better... and 2006 will make me an even better person.

And hopefully 2006 will be a good year to everyone- wishing you all the best with the new year.

So far- it's been tiring, hectic and scary. It's been some two weeks and a bit...somewhat eventful
-
Icecream theory.

hypothesis #1- the sum of, boy + girl= potential 'fishing for more icecream'
hypothesis #2- 'icecream smile' should be a constant for 'fishing' in order for a higher sucess rate
hypothesis #3- the sum of, friend + friend are mutually exclusive in terms of icecream theory
hypothesis #4- 'fishing for more icecream' + emotions are mutually exclusive in order for such sucess

For those who do not know the highly thought provoking, icecream theory... must have been living underneath a rock, or at the very least not in my brain (which you all should of course, be living in- well perhaps not)

In anycase, for those who have not been living within my mind and do not have extrasensory perception I shall share with you the internationally known icecream theory (with of course extensive scientific research to back such a riverting theory).

Icecream theory is basically (in layman's terms) the ideal of 'flirting' with your icecream server in order to receive more for your money- though not necessarily icecream.
-
Well 2006 is already almost a month broken, and the year of the dog is soon arriving.

Wishing you all well within this year!

information

2005-11-15T13:56:00.000+11:00

Aoi kage ni tutumareta su hada ga
Toki no nakade shizu ka nifurueteru
Inoti no yukue o to ikakeruyouni
Yubi saki wa watashi o motomeru...

[the pale shadow befogging you skin in the stream of time, you are shaking feebly.
You look like your asking where is life aiming at.
You are wandering to find where I am...]

Ino ru sora ni mabuta to zitatokini
Sekai wa tada yami no soko ni kieru
Soredemo ko dou wa mata ugo kidasu
Kagi riaru ei en saga shitte

[While you pray under the sky.
If you close your eyes, the whole world will be turned into darkness.
But a heartbeat will appear again, searching for finite eternity.]

Watashi ni kae rinasai kioku o tadori
Yasa shisato yume no minamotoe
Anata mo kae rinasai ai shiautame
Koroko mo karada mo kukaesu
Tamashii no rufuran

[Return to me.
Your memory deep inside will lead you to me, where sweetness and hopes are.
You should love and be loved once again.
Heart and soul will be born again.
Soul's refrain.]

Ayanami End of Eva- Neon Genesis Evangelion

-thoughts in a nutshell-
:.lifeless.:
collections of the soul,
sorrowful despair,
silent delirium,
blood.

whispers of the mind,
tormented life,
drowning tears,
kill.

scars of the heart,
sleepless eternity,
breathless smile,
death.
-
[1peter 4:1,2]
The song above was translated with a little poetic licence, so don't traipse all over me at the terrible translations... not that most of you guys know japanese fluently to tell me off.. well not that I do either.

Cockcroaches are ikky.

So I've decided a semi blog dedicated to the most disgusting bug alive... ... (personal opinion that is- though everyone should think it is :P hehe) *shudders*

Cockcroaches are high resistant to nuclear radiation so it's most likely to survive a nuclear war.
Cockcroach will survive nine days with it's head cut off until it starves to death.
Cockcroaches break wind every 15 minutes
Cockcroaches are the only creature that do not have red blood cells (only white blood cells)

So these are the reasons I can find factual about cockcroaches which should be suffice to everyone that cockcroaches are disgusting...

oh more interesting facts haha... the male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates mating by ripping the male praying mantis' head off...

Now that's an interesting take of necrophilia... there is this animal which the male copulates till death, documentries the source of interesting facts, wonderful creation I tell you... riveting..
Now who says necrophilia isn't natural?... ... though I much prefer not to hear of anyone ripping off heads of their significant others...

ohhh... more weird facts-
2,500 lefties die each year using products designed for righties
right handed people live, on average, 9 years longer than left handed people

Darn it... and I thought I was special... I knew all you righties were out to get me! It's a conspiracy, a conspiracy I tell you!
If I don't die from the evils of right handed products, I die young... *sigh* woe is the life of a gifted left hander :P

Another simple fact.
The word lethologica describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want- so... what was that word again? (aha... I crack myself up sometimes :P)

Now that I've filled your mind up with useless facts... perhaps I should fill your mind more with pointless trivialities such as my own life...

Nah.

:Silly things of late:

Sitting at a diner table discussing Prashant's birthday
Amber: When is it?
Prashant: It'll most likely be on the 17th of December
Amber: Ohh, I'll be back on the 18th just in time for your... ... *long pause* wait a seco-
Alex: *laughs* yeah just in time to MISS your birthday party... of course just in time...
Amber: Shuddup... I was so excited of the thought of going to the party...

I'm not too sure how this topic came about... but nevertheless...

Prashant: (thinking of a weird possible client) my motor neurons aren't working, they keep slapping people who say stupid things...
Alex: uh huh... *slap* idiot...

This one happened ages ago, but it never fails to make me smile.
Waiting for the bus, discussing pets.
Thomas: I wonder what sea-monkeys really are...
Ruben: *matter of factly- "duh"* They're Brine Shrimp.
Thomas: Yes, of course... how stupid of me...

Whilst sitting in a chinese restaurant looking upon the menu, to see what tasty morsels they would feed a hungry family- we came across some interesting.. descriptions of what we could eat.

... what a delectable menu...

Death is a certain end of a beginning. Mayhap this is the beginning, or is it the end?

interlude

2005-10-17T17:10:00.000+10:00

...I was listening,
you'll fight your battles far from me,
far too easily...
Oh, a thousand words,
one thousand embraces
will cradle you
making all your weary days seem far away
they'll hold you forever.
Oh, a thousand words,
have never been spoken...
suspended on silver wings
1000 Words- Final Fantasy X-2

-thoughts in a nutshell-
:Beautiful glory:
Close your eyes,
listen to the whispers of dew,
the giggles of roses,
the singing of old oak,
Close your eyes,
watch the dance of willows,
the spinning of air,
the flying of dandelions
Close your eyes,
touch the velvet grass,
the smooth water,
the jagged bark
Close your eyes
-
[Rom 12:2]
Just a short yodel, this is my new layout ^_^

*ushers everyone in* Welcome, welcome... rest your weary mind and feet and make yourself comfortable...

^_^ admire my semi-hard work and effort put in this... though it is not mine specifically, so don't say I am adept in information technology for my poor prehistoric mind cannot comprehend computer jargon.

So this layout unfortunately took me 3 hours of effort to customise it to my liking.

Yes 3 hours, which could have been spent more productively in work... however the colossal amount of work I must do had seemed rather unappealing at that time.

Even now It is rather unattractive. *glances at the ugly pile of work*

Instead I'll give you a grand tour of my newly adopted blog layout.

As you see the directory is at the bottom lined with [x],

-the first [x] will take you to my profile of who I am
-the second, the present where my wonderful blog is situated
-the third, the past archives of my memories
-the fourth, the future where ponders and quotes will be placed- it will be randomly refreshed with a new quote and a new thought
-the fifth, friends and links, if you want to be linked please tell me and I will add you.

And that is all...

Do you like my layout?

Squee~

indescribable

2005-10-06T20:57:00.000+10:00

when you're close to tears remember
someday it'll all be over...
don't you think it's time you started,
doing what we always wanted...
'cause even the impossible is easy...
one day we're gonna get so high
And at the end of the day,
we'll remember the days
we were close to the edge
and we'll wonder how we made it through...
'cause we are gonna be forever you and me,
you will always keep me flying high in the sky of love
High- Lighthouse Family

-thoughts in a nutshell-
:life through glassy tinted eyes:

She was given the gift of life, destined for things beyond her comprehension and created for uniqueness. Yet, she wasn't perfect- for slowly she had began to acknowledge humanity, the wear of the harsh world continously scarred her.
She knew that in her fragile heart, that humanity lacked compassion, it had kept her in darkness and yet she yearned and seeked for humanity to find her and mend her shattering heart, heal her scars.
With a smile she allowed others to use her, abuse her and toss her away- not wanted, not loved, not needed. Humanity didn't bother to look at her saddened smile, her glassy tears and empty heart.
Designed to be a doll, designed for everyone's uses and needs. Created for the purpose of being used whilst holding a sweet smile, continously sacrificing her heart. Her sole purpose for humannity was to be manipulated, used and soon forgotten. In the face of the harsh world that she could barely understand. She deserved no one and yet she longed for someone to mend her broken heart, to take the pain away.
She would sit in the corner tossed to the side in the darkness until they used her once more. She would sit with a broken heart and bright smile.
He had come along and saw her in her cold corner with a blinding smile, He had healed her, mended her and provided her with security. He had befriended her, accepted her and she knew she would never be alone once more within the world that turned it's back from her.
In humanity, Dolls which are broken are never wanted anymore...
yet we will never be alone.
-
[Exodus 3:14]
A number people had asked where I had gotten the last part of my name from. It was from a short peice that I had written up on a whim a fair while ago.

I find myself here once more... procrastinating yet again... take a seat and relax as I tell you the events of my weekly grinds.

Holidays were last week, yes I only had a week of holidays- so for those from Canberra who I didn't get to see, you should have come to stump :P

Black stump was gold, it was beyond excellent (pun intended.. hehe). Though a christian music festival, it provided a variety of other activities such as sacred space, genesis lounge, contemporary dance and theatre. To be honest it was more than what I had expected it to be, with the joyful and friendly atmosphere surrounding you, you just want to be apart of it. The music ranged from being punk/rock, hip hop to acoustic or a cappella... so there was generally something for everyone music wise. There were workshops and worships as well and general games such as waterbomb volleyball, jumping castle and rock climbing.
If you allow yourself to be wrapped up in the atmosphere, the music and the talks then you'll enjoy it...
Also if you're coming with us (AACC) then you can laugh at my clumsiness... spilling mocha on my clothes... tripping in the tent (though no one saw that one haha)... Pen leaked on my nice pants as well! It was everywhere!! Or you can just laugh at Daniel's silly thermals and spilling milk almost every single day... ... and metroboy Mark's hair primping :P

Before Stump, I had intended to finish my assignment... that didn't happen. Tuesday was a good day, all you can eat yumcha changed though to Zilver... fancy, really fancy- food's the same but not all you can eat *sobs* how can that do that to me?

Wedenesday was Jo's (OT Jo) b'day... hehe 20, so old. :P (Happy b'day) Went to Pancake's on the rocks, played big 2 and some strange hand game and other strange card games.
Prashant pulled out three packs of cards, "Anyone want to play cards?" So that was interesting... we were intending to go to the beach, but I knew it would be overcast- as much as Prashant and the weather forecast would say it wouldn't be... so we never ended up going there and sat at starbucks for hours to be warm.

And that's all I remember of the holidays... I wonder where my week went... probably behind the couch as do most things which become lost, along with my marbles.

Oh, whilst we were seated at starbucks; Prashant comes up with what he thinks is a brilliant idea to prevent our lack of attending classes. The deal is, if he was to attend a class, I had to and vice versa. With Victor as our witness and sealed with blood (kidding), we agreed to the terms (reluctantly on my part). So a week has passed, and the attendance record for Prashant an all high (seeing that he hasn't missed one yet) and well me and all low... I had only attended one for the whole week... yeah I thought attending 2 lectures for the whole week was bad... but then again I didn't have monday to attend to. So that deal works out really well... I can't imagine how the other weeks are going to turn out to be.. *rolls eyes*

And for every gold coin that someone has to ask if Prashant and I are going out I'd be darn rich! ...hrm maybe I should put it down as a law when I'm ruler"one shall be fined for every time they question if Prashant and I going out"... Yes it shall be of decree when I take over the world... muhaha- it'll probably be where most of my riches would be from haha :P

I watched Luputa recently and I'm in love with Hayao Miyazaki's works. I want to do a marathon and I'm definately going to watch Howl's moving castle (subbed)... because I can't stand most english voice actors, though the girl in Luputa her voice was nicely done, like a woman-child who had an subtle elegance within her voice.

As you can probably tell... I'm only rambling as such due to the simple fact that I'm procrastinating like crazy. It's due tomorrow noon, 2000 words and I have barely touched it... 200 words, so... 1800 words to go! Yes... procrastination is an art form that I excel in... or just being lazy- then again that's another *cough* talent that I excel in as well...
-
Tagged by: Son + Yv
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:

Alex
Lexi
Ling

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:

Lady of the Moon
Sleep away reality| dreams of truth
love to hate| hate to love

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:

eyes
‘non-labour’ hands
I can’t think of anything else…

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:

skin
stomach
everything else not listed :P

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:

needles
being unloved/unwanted
commitments

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:

God (I agree)
Computer!
House keys (don’t I know it…)

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:

zebra pattern slippers- or white tiger ones according to my brother
Ripped up and safety pinned $5 shirt (yeah… I was bored)
black stump blue band (which isn't going off till next year)

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS: I don’t technically have favourites… but these ones are good

Red hot chilli peppers
Joe Hisaishi
Delirious?

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS:

Far longer than forever-swan princess…haha
History maker- delirious?
Poison- groove coverage

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP

To feel secure
bond/companionship
communication

2 TRUTHS 1 LIE:

13% of the world is left handed... :P
I don't believe in 'soul mate' love
I don’t lie unless I can’t find another way out (trixy) :P

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:

eyes
smile… I guess? *shrugs*
male :P kidding… umm.. I wouldn’t know- more into personalities

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:

drawing
lazing around looking at the clouds
reading

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:

finish my assignment off
cure my curiosity
beat my brother in hexic :P

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING/YOU'VE CONSIDERED:

psychiatrist (I like screwing up people’s minds)
nurse
superhero

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:

Venice
France
Japan

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:

raise a child
Take a trip around the world
learn to ride a motorcycle, or another language… *shrugs* learn something different

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:

I absolutely hate pink
I prefer rough and tumble play (eg. Climbing trees, attempting to tackle guys- unsuccessfully :P) and video games
I don’t own many pairs of shoes. In fact my sneakers are 6 years old… and still going strong (random trivia :P) had them since year 8

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL: Okay I’m cheating here, but when it came to this question- I got stuck… haha

I like dancing -courtesy from Nay…(the other things you listed Nay, aren’t that stereotypical…)
My phone habits- apparently to James… I talk far too long on the phone to be a boy
My handwriting according to my brother, because it’s neat…

THREE CELEB CRUSHES: I wouldn't call them crushes, but I do enjoy their skills seeing that there are plenty of poor skilled actors out there, or I just adore their personality *shrugs*

Johnny Depp
Audrey Hepburn
Lee Dong Gun

---THREE PEOPLE THAT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW---

Agatha
Amber
Nathan

:Silly things of late:

Four of us sitting down (Agatha, Amber, An and I) talking casually about what we can't stand.
Agatha: I can't stand maggots or flies.
Alex: Yeah flies can be annoying
Agatha: they should all die
An: But if they all die, then the frogs won't have anything to eat... and then the frogs will start eating US!

Yes frogs jump the food chain from flies to humans... so we all should be wary of the hungry human eating frogs.
~
Whilst waiting for Auntie Jennifer (Yv's mum) to pick us up to go to black stump.
Alex: I'm gonna take you out clubbing the first night you're 18
Daniel: I don't want to...
Alex: But you have to at least experience the atmosphere once, and what better person to take you out then your sister
Mark: Glad you're not my sister
Alex: *shrugs* so I'm taking you out yeah?
Daniel: But Ling teenage pregnancy can happen...
Alex: ... Daniel... ... as much as you think you can be pregnant, I have to break it to you- you're a boy...
Daniel: No I didn't mean it like that!! *Mark and I cracking up* Shut up!
~
It had been decided since the fateful summer in Penang that Mark had quality stupidity and Daniel quantity stupidity (due to a game we played during that period)... and together they make a different sort of silliness... that needs no rehearsing
Alex: So you guys want KFC or Hungry Jacks?
Daniel: ... ... jacks
Mark: King...
Daniel: white...
Mark: castle...

Amazing one word spontaneous conversation held randomly by Mark and Daniel...
~
As we were catching the train... it had slowed down.
Daniel: Is this an all stops?
Alex: Do you think the train is going to stop?
Daniel: N.... yes...
The train moves on, not stopping at the train station...
Daniel: You tricked me!
Mark and I look at each other...
Alex: how?
Daniel: Because I asked if this was an all stops and you then asked if it was going to stop and then... I said yes... you tricked me with your mind game!... *looks at our blank faces* Shut up!
Alex and Mark: *laugh*
~
There we were lying innocently in my bedroom, willing our bodies to go to sleep, with peace in our minds. Mark and I turn to speak to Daniel who was nearest the door (where a light source is)
Alex: Was that a cockroach
Mark: Yeah, I think it was...
Daniel: Are you serious!? *bolting out of his sleeping bag and across to the other side of the room*

And so chaos ensued...

Alex: *Grabbing the pea beu (insect spray) as the cockroach hid undeneath a bag* Daniel lift the bag up!
Daniel: *still at the furthest corner away from the cockroach* But I'm scared of them!
Alex: So am I... *sighs* Mark can you lift the bag-
Mark: I'm scared of them as well!
Alex: great... all three of us are scared of them... how are we going to survive.. Daniel please...
Daniel: how about I spray it and you lift the bag up...
Alex: Fine... *quickly giving the spray up as the bag was lifted*
Daniel immediately sprayed the cockroach as it darted to another section of the room all the while the both of us were screaming and yelling attempting to erradicate the bug.

And there was Mark standing in the other side of the room laughing his head off.

Soon the bug slowed and stopped all the while Daniel continued to spray it.
Alex: Daniel I think it's dead!
Daniel: but it's still moving!
Alex: you're gonna kill us with poison Daniel...
Daniel: But it's still moving!
Alex: You want us to be dead as well?
Daniel: It's a sacrifice we must take to kill the cockroach...

Alex: Mark you are so sweeping that thing out...
Mark: I'm not going near it unless your broom stick is at least 2 meters long

And so after the havoc slowed and died once the very dead cockroach was outside. The peace after the storm..
Daniel:... .... Ling can I sleep in your bed?
~
Agatha contemplating whether she wants a duckling.
Alex: if you really want to get one, then get one.
Agatha: I shouldn't because I'm afraid Cody (her dog) will eat it... and when it grows up I'm afraid mum will eat it...

Oh the joys of Asian parents.

-exit

ingrateful

2005-09-10T16:56:00.000+10:00

Is it true today that when people pray,
cloudless skies will break...
and the blind set free...
With the fire of God, and the truth in hand
We'll see miracles, we'll see angels sing,
We'll see broken hearts making history
yes it's true and I believe it
I'm living for you
I'm gonna be a history maker in this land...
I'm gonna stand, I'm gonna run
Into your arms, into your arms again...
History Maker- Delirious?

-thoughts in a nutshell-
:.snake wisdom.:
and she smiled,
like her youth,
soft light innocence,
shattering instance,
I knew her once,
perhaps thrice,
I can't remember,
her laughter,
I never saw her,
after you came,
mayhap twas liveth
or was it death?
eyes of the young,
she was beautiful,
perhaps I was delusional,
I can't recall,
you took her away,
from me,
she was an epitome,
of what cannot be,
you drew your sword,
and killed her,
without hesitation,
thought of inclination,
gone now,
the dream I have,
darkness seeps,
tears that weeps,
she was innocent,
you killed her,
I paid the fee,
for- she was me.
-
[Gen 2:13]

Really nothing much to say.

BLACK STUMP!
if you don't know, I can't explain it to you... (ask Nay, Danie, Fishy boy [Marky fish] or Yv...- they'd be better at explaining it than I would)... Christian music festival is as far as I can explain it
But I'm excited about going... ! Soon very soon ^_^ my pretty *crackles*

:bubble bubble toil and trouble:

I've been in a quirky mood lately- which is allowing me to procrastinate a whole lot- work is piling up slowly collecting dust... and dust mites... ...
So there is creative spark in me once more, inspired by all these drawings I have been looking at the past two days straight... yes... I don't have much of a life outside my computer. I am the term called- iNterNeT JunKiE..dum dum dum *collective gasps*
Alas, I digress- creativeness also creates restlessness if you're unable to release it... so here's a little thing I want to try out- think of the first thing (or two) that pops in your mind and place it under comments and I'll see what I can do with it either that or put down a theme :P... I feel like challenging myself in drawing -_-;; ... anything I s'pose- hehe it'll be a great help thanks.

I've decided that I really want a camera... there are so many breathless beautiful things out there! And the camera phone doesn't cut it- although it's a very good camera... there are so many creations out there which people overlook- they're too use to its natural beauty they don't bother any more... it's a shame really... when was the last time people went out of their houses just to smell the flowers? Or the last time someone decided to go kite flying because it was a beautiful windy day, or even just lay in the grass and watched the clouds go by...
People are too caught up in their lives that they don't see what creation has given us, what simple beauty surrounds us. Too busy with problems, work, money, routines... than just simply appreciating the life surrounding us.

:watch the flowers bloom:

(all these photos were taken by my camera phone, right after I finished typing up my ranting haha- well at least you can't call me a hyprocrite. It was a 10 minute walk around my street)

Playing Nay's game: five weird things about me. (there are too many actually- top noticable five are...)
1. my study notes must be absolutely perfect. I can't stand notes if my handwriting is not written perfectly, nor one small spelling mistake... they are thrown away/ripped up and written once more. Needless to say I write things almost 5 times again- even if it just says 'neuroscience'
2. I'm a self proclaimed book nazi, my books cannot be: bent by the spine (spine breaking), folded (doggy tagging or ears), underlined, dirtied... they must be in perfect condition.
3. I talk to myself. Especially during exam time and periods when there is no one around to talk to... not those
"you're so silly" sort of comments... I have full blown conversations with myself.... exam period is worse... I also talk in third person when I'm tired...
4. I don't like crockcroaches or things with stingers on their butts (bees and wasps as such)... or needles for that fact.. can't stand them
5. I have a restuarant etiquette... for 'all you can eat' restuarants... well I wouldn't call it etiquette... it's more like a routine.
6. I'm friends with Nay... and Angela... ... (weird enough I'd say)

Silly/funny things of late

Group chatting with Mark, Daniel and Renee and talking about highlighting everyone's hair outrageous colours- Daniel in particular doesn't want his hair blue... (just so you know, Daniel and Renee are going out)

Daniel: I don't want blue, Mark tell them that black is in or something
Mark:... black is the new fashion statement
Daniel: see! And you can't go against Mark's guru fashion tastes
Nay: Are you saying that Mark has better taste than me??
*pause in the conversation*
Daniel: ... I'm getting blue streaks

Man... ... my poor little brother hehe :P

Group of us sitting down whilst Amber pulls out two funsize cadbury chocolates
Agatha: *contemplates* I don't see why they call it funsize... I mean its too small to be called funsize, they should be called TORTURE SIZE...
Alex: *cracks up* trust you to think that...
Agatha: *pulls out her own funsize chocolate* it's torture size!!!

fin

incur

2005-08-31T22:30:00.000+10:00

Agatha and I! YAY My OT clubbing buddy ^_^... ... yeah I finally got them up along with everything else that's been around. Including the lovely fashion parade at church anniversary

inedible

2005-08-31T22:29:00.001+10:00

Joann and I... ... I think Joann is a bit afraid... ... zombies!!

2005-08-31T22:29:00.000+10:00

Amber and Agatha... hehe

2005-08-31T22:27:00.000+10:00

Agatha and Kerrie...

illusive

2005-08-31T22:26:00.000+10:00

YAY the most OT people have been going out for a night... what a record *sigh*... from left to right, Kerrie, Ags, me and Amber

2005-08-31T22:25:00.000+10:00

Agatha and Lev- our favourite couple... I don't know what Lev is looking at though... 'ohh the floor is shiny...' :P

2005-08-31T22:23:00.000+10:00

Another lovely couple, Carlos and Kerrie at Agatha's party

instyle

2005-08-31T21:20:00.000+10:00

Daniel, clad in a button up vest underneath a stylish black garbarge bag jacket. Held together in a newspaper belt and capped off with a newspaper beret...

in

2005-08-31T21:15:00.000+10:00

Mark, in a fashionable ensemble, newspaper shorts and a black garbarge muscle t-shirt. Sunshade hat, thick cokebottle glasses and a messenger bag to finish the style..

2005-08-31T21:11:00.000+10:00

Nathan, dressed in a poncho (... err I think...) enhanced by the lovely tie and topped off with a beautiful princess (dunce) hat

2005-08-31T20:52:00.000+10:00

Tara donning a lovely pleated skirt and backless top with a lovely paper flower to finish off the design

idol

2005-08-31T20:51:00.000+10:00

Stooges newspaper fashion- clothing coming soon to stores near you

ideal

2005-08-31T20:46:00.000+10:00

newspaper groupie, Markus (front left), Tara (front right), Daniel (back right) and Nathan (back left)

2005-08-31T20:44:00.000+10:00

hehe... Suzie looking lost as ever :P nice photo though so I thought I would put it up

2005-08-31T20:41:00.000+10:00

Tommy (cousin) and I...

incriminating

2005-08-31T20:40:00.000+10:00

Angela, hehe "you're not taking a photo are you?" ... of course not o.O

2005-08-31T20:37:00.000+10:00

Ahh the bubble... you have yet to fail us.. hehe

incredible

2005-08-31T20:34:00.000+10:00

Amber and Agatha- such a nice photo :P

2005-08-31T20:33:00.000+10:00

Kayo and I...

inseperable

2005-08-31T20:32:00.000+10:00

Stina and Matt- resident couple of MRS

indirect

2005-08-27T00:29:00.000+10:00

...I needed somewhere to hang my head,
without your noose...
It's real the pain you feel,
The life, the love,
You die to heal,
The hope that starts,
The broken hearts,
You trust, you must,
Confess...
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
I've got another confession my friend,
I'm no fool,
I'm tired of starting again,
Somewhere new...
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Best Of You- Foo Fighters

-thoughts in a nutshell-
:.Broken guilt.:
Perhaps it was Sacrifice which caused it,
The Love that is given freely
A Retribution for the soul
Darkness which surrounds, is my own
Life is so sweet upon the lips, yet difficult on the hands
-
[1 Cor 13:4-8]
hrm, seeing that I haven't had my computer in a while you would think that I would have something to say. Such as what I had been getting up to during the past couple of weeks... actually nothing. The television was good company... very good company- it would embrace me when I woke up late at night sobbing about my computer's broken status...

And that's about how my week went. Moping over my computer and having the company of television. Of course there was the good ol' phone, which would keep me warm at night (8-12 most of the time) when I was abandoned and cold...

Any of you guys remember 'murder she wrote'? I loved that series, such a classic detective series (kind of corny now)- where you can actually solve the crime yourself. Ahh those were the days, not like those newfangled hooligan detective shows nowadays... back in my day we had to watch television without one of those lazy toys, what do you call them... remotes...

I started Uni just three weeks ago. Thought you guys might be interested to know... ... well actually, I'd just like to bask in the green light of envy that I started almost a whole month later than most of you guys :P hehe.. nah, doing anatomy this semester mmm... dead bodies- human brains look so squishy, you just want to squish them... we saw the arm just last week they skinned it and all... the weird thing about it is that they don't skin the fingers so you can actually see the skin and nails on the arm... lovely isn't it? Even more lovely when you pull a tendon and the fingers actually look like they're moving on their own... *shudders*...
err... I do hope you guys haven't eaten anything recently...

... we went out on Saturday night for Agatha's lovely turning of age, nothing much happened really... walked around in darling harbour... one of us (*glares* :p) was wearing 'basketball' shoes and we weren't allowed in most of the Darling harbour clubs... *sigh* so we walked around a bit... Amber's first time clubbing as well!! YAY... ^_^ Our feet killed afterwards though... T_T ah the pains of clubbing. Stupid shoes, stupid heels... *raises fist in air*... stupid female impracticality!

I had dinner with Will and Gary- if you guys remember them... from Canberra, it has been a while... nothing else much of significance actually.

Aside from going down to Canberra eating at a lovely ball in an uncomfortable dress and losing money in a raffle ticket and of course walking in a formal dress in a dingy and cosy cafe and coles... yes I said coles... 5 guys in suits and 2 girls in dresses in coles at 1am in the morning grocery shopping was a very interesting experience I must say. Good times though.

Went to a fashion parade designed with the latest and hottest material around- newspaper and garbage bags, the models were wonderful... Especially the marriage, I was so glad to have witness the union of Renee's parents... it brings tears to my eyes.
A big happy 21st to AACC! Congratulations for being an adult... *sniff* my little church is growing up... ... I remember when it was a wee child... ... *blows nose* Just give me a moment, it's just so touching.

Watched zombies eat humans, sat in the freezing cold sand twice, went to the largest cemetary in the southern hemisphere- which is strangely enough right across from my uni campus... ... got lost in auburn st (since it doesn't exist!!), ate a whole lot of steak- oh how I missed hogsbreath and jigged a whole lot of class... (though I probably shouldn't mention that... ...)

Silly things which happened lately (lately meaning weeks ago):

Walking towards the bus station with An, Kerrie, Amber and I,
Amber: *noticing a lovely grass parrot on *cough* the grass... and points out* Look guys, look at the pretty... ... *getting tongue tied*... BANANA!
Alex: *burst up laughing*
Amber: I mean Bird!!

(told you I would put that up :P)

So we were at the club, where they require you to have a coloured balloon to show your status...
red- unavailable
green- available
orange- not sure
Agatha picks red... expecting her boyfriend, Lev to do the same... but Lev comes in with a green balloon
Agatha: You picked green?
Lev: Yeah... why?
Alex: What happened to picking red?
Lev: The man said it was unavailable... I don't know why though, because there were a whole bunch of red balloons behind him...
Agatha: ... ...
Alex: *laughing* you thought the red balloons were not available

Parents and I were talking about our married cousins, (whom I lived with briefly)
Alex: What does lau gung mean?
Dad: what do you mean?
Alex: Man Yuk (my female cousin-in-law) says that to Yin
Dad: What? Lau gung?
Mum: What? What!? Man Yuk is pregnant!!
At this point Dad and I look at my mother's sudden outburst...
Dad: I think it means husband
Alex: Mum... how did you get husband in Canto to become Man Yuk is having a child... ...

I won't put this up (because I don't want to be cruel *cough*), but I'll briefly mention it. Dev and paper cutting skills... *shakes head*

And perhaps yes, if the ring and diamond were no less than 18 carats, I'll consider it *wink* kidding :P hehe

And that's all she wrote

itinerary

2005-07-21T02:38:00.000+10:00

Another turning point,
a fork stuck in the road..
So make the best of this test,
and don't ask why.
It's not a question,
but a lesson learnt in time...
So take the photographs,
the still frames in your mind...
For what it's worth,
it was worth all the while.
It's something unpredictable,
but in the end it's right,
I hope you had the time of your life.
Time Of Your Life- Green Day

-thoughts in a nutshell-
:.ensnared cycle.:
it whispered around her,
taunting her roots,
all she had was the silver reflection,
broken by simple tension of surface,
the wind breezed through her,
teasing her, showing what she couldn't do.
After all she was inanimate,
unable to move from her roots,
Silently it watched the river beside her
Silently it sat quietly,
Trees had yet one purpose,
unable to move,
only to breathe.
-
[phil 4:6,7]
Yes... I am updating... happy now?! :P
Hrm, first/second time I did a personification, well I'm not sure if you call the last one a personification...

Canberra was fine- and only fine, because I caught some sort of illness when I was down there! How dare my own state turn against me! Just because I reek of Sydney smell, doesn't mean it can turn against me and make me sick! *looks at Canberra* You traitor! One day I'll have my revenge! Muhaha then you'll regret turning your back against me... one day!

Had a movie night with some of the Yf girls, that was interesting. I've never had a 'girls night in' before... so different to the horror movie nights I'm used to. It was how to say... girly... I can't describe it any other way. Not that we were doing hair, painting nails or any of that... but watching romances are something new. Not really into romances, so don't kill me when I say notebook was okay... *hides under table away from the glares* Sure he was sweet and all- but the plot and the cinematics were not up to standards... But Tara made it all better "eww she just made an ugly face! let's rewind it!" haha... :P

Sabrina was cool, I remember watching that years ago. And yeah Nay that's the dress.. take a look- my future *cough* wedding dress *cough* if I ever get married, aside from it being detatched it would be nice full bodied flowing dress... that is if I ever get married... ha, but I place dibs on the dress anyways! There was another dressed that I really liked as well... but I can't remember where I saw it from, one day I'll show you Nay... by the way that most ugliest wedding dress wasn't too bad, granted I wouldn't spend $400 on the thing, not a cent actually... but it could have been worse... like a xena outfit rendition except white *shudders*

And to answer your question you guys are now a single entity now... I'm too lazy to rectify that fact, well aside from Yv being a smuck like Nay... Yv neutralises Nay's smuckiness... to make her bearable... just..

Haha I feel sorry for my brother... for having to put up with girls all night... well not really, he had Markus... but then again that's not much comfort- seeing that he does go to girls toilets!! Strutting in nonetheless :P hehe (you know it's true)

Dinner, Thursday night was interesting. Aside from Stickboy abandoning us and not coming, it was wonderful... how nice of you guys to pay me out *glares* nah it's cool... nice to see you guys once more- should do it more often... well as often as it can be done.

Met up with Rin and Ange... just to talk. I actually don't remember much o.O just eating and well drinking coffee... umm but it was nice seeing you again Rin ^_^ G'luck with Yuna :P

Also had a night out with Ange and Suze.. although it was to be a girls night out, with some of Ange's friends as well.. her friends abandoned her and didn't want her, so we had to go out with her.. well I mean after all she was the one offering her house, and cooking the pikelets... yes not pancakes. But yum they were nice, hrm... very fattening Ange- and weren't we supposed to be doing some sort of dieting :P hehe... by the way, I noticed you didn't tell him fully? *raises eyebrow*
That was a good night actually (aside from the unwanted), I haven't danced like that for a very long time... so nice to be free and uninhibited! Without a care in the world... It's amazing how it makes you feel like you're so free, so spirited...

And I have to say, I spent the rest of my time playing pool... hrm

Thanks Ami, for meeting up with me by the way haha... so last minute -_-;;

:Stupid/funny things of the month:

Do you remember the chatterboxes? The paper origami which you write up 'fortunes' and predictions in? Well a beautiful child at Church, Kirsten did one... and she was giving everyone their fortune...

Alex: What's Wye li's fortune Kirsten?
Wye li- Picking colours and numbers accordingly
Kirsten: ...You will lose all your hair.
Daniel: What's mine Kirsten? (after choosing a colour and numbers)
Kirsten: You will die in 15 days...

What luck you two have...
+
Victor (the poor lad imported from S'pore who doesn't know a thing): Hey isn't Canberra the capital how can it be peaceful? Isn't the capital meant to be busy with lots of people and stuff?
Alex *blinking twice... then opening her mouth and laughing*: Canberra? Busy? hahaha
+
So there we were talking innocently about pets...
Nay: How often do you wash your cat?
Alex: once a year...
Dad: we had a cat once, when I was young... I used to wash it every single day because it could swim... within a week... it got pnuemonia... and died...
Nay (after a bit of shock): that's... ho-orrible.. here I was thinking of a nice happy story...
then it went on...
Alex: haha, I can't believe you killed your cat by over loving it!
Dad: No of course not, not my cat... it was my brother's cat...

ah my poor Uncle to have a brother like my Dad... haha... your poor cat after subjected to torture of swimming every day I'm sure it's happy now, definately in a better place..may it rest in peace..
+
So having a lovely dinner talking about the potential Yf formal..
Alex: come on, the formal will be nice...
Ken Li: yeah, Ayji, Joseph... Daniel, Renee... all dancing together, nicely... ... then you'll have Alex on her own dancing Capeoria... *itimitating Capeoria moves*
Mark + Daniel: *burst up laughing*

Capeoria is a form of dancing martial arts, if you're not sure.
added in regards to the formal...

James: Hey, if you have ddr I might come..
Alex: what place ddr machines in the middle of the dance floor??
James: yeah and have a show down!! You can have two so partners can dance, *itimitates fancy voice + pulls out hand* May I have this dance *starts dancing ddr style*
+
It is to be noted that Ayji and Joseph are a couple
Ayji: But I don't have any money
Alex: I'll pay for you..
Joseph: You know... we come as a pair...
+
James aka stickboy- the ever overprotecting brother [James is also Karate blackbelt... -_-;;] : there is a criteria for all your potential suitors that must be done,
first I will do a background check on them.
They must do a 3 hour examination.
Then they must fight me one on one in combat.
Then after I approve, they may communicate to you, in written format... ...only.
+
Daniel: *rambling about who knows what*
Nay: Shhh... Daniel you're so cute when you don't talk..
Alex: ... And you're so stupid when you do...

ahh, my poor brother... hehe the paying out that can amount between Nay and I against you.
-
Nothing much to say actually... my mind is in shambles, but I did say I would update *glares at persistant people* this better keep you guys happy for at least a couple of weeks, heck if a month could be possible... o.O

There's a reason to why I do not like to say farewell, perhaps 'tis hard to understand... but it's difficult for me to say goodbye- to never see another again.
I shall leave you with a poem... something I found, a bittersweet adeiu... albeit, not a farewell... just a simple- till we meet once more...

'If we must part,
Then let it be like this;
Not compassion for my heart,
Nor with the hopeless agony of a kiss;
But touch my hand and say;
'Until tomorrow or some other day,
If we must part, then let it be this way,'

intercept

2005-07-05T18:14:00.000+10:00

tsuki ga yureru kagami ni furueta kokoro
hoshi ga nagare koboreta yawarakai namida...
kaze wa tomari kotoba wa yasashii maboroshi
kumo wa yabure ashita wa tooku no koe...
asa ni tokeru yumemiru
[the moon, a shaking heart in an unsteady mirror
the stars, gentle tears in an overflowing stream...
the wind, its halting words are a gentle illusion
the clouds, the broken future like a distant voice
dissolving in the morning,
I dream]
Suteki Da Ne- Rikki [FinalFantasyX theme song]

-thoughts in a nutshell-
:.dead beats.:
there it sat,
twisted in vines,
heavy gasps slowing,
tormented in thorns.
there it sat,
glances were few,
unconcerned by the world,
shunned by eyes.
there it sat,
dragged on the floor,
beating in slow pain,
bleeding to dark death.
there it sat,
the heart of an empty soul,
unwanted,
unloved.
there it sat.
-
[Phil 2:14]
Nothing much to say really, placement is hell to wake up to. I mean honestly you have to wake up at 5am! To get there by 8am... ergh... I just want to kill father time, that's right- you heard me father time!! -_-;; no I don't want to have my medication... nor do I want to meet men in white coats- this is between me and father time!

Anyways, I'm almost finished my placement. So I get a good long sleep afterwards, well almost afterwards. Parents and perhaps some ol' Yf people are coming up... Can't wait. And Yung you should come as well *nods* I don't get to see you often. Bring Topsy if you can :P
I might come back down the Canberra afterwards... still uncertain. Will try though!
(by the way if I do come down are you girls free?-Nay&Yv? I wanna do a tribute night sometime- we could use my house and kick Yung out... to the backyard *nods*)

Yumcha was wonderful! I loved it, haha "mmm... I want some of your sweet buns" -_-;; Amber knows what I'm talking about. Prashant, the pig ate all the food! haha, no kidding, but he was the only one who was full after that yumcha! *glares*
Went to Greenwood- well no, went to the line in Greenwood and went to North Sydney. We had fun at a random park (Peter's Park actually :P) played 'doctor doctor' or as they like to call it 'knots' I still reckon doctor-doctor sounds better! Anyone remember playing that game? Awesome game...

Went out last Friday Jo's 18th B'day!! Ahh the youngest of them all... :PHeaps of fun, drinking wine, eating 'Jap' food and going to clubbing. Hehe and of course sleeping.
Photos are below for your viewing pleasure... just don't drool too much, you might destroy the computer :P hehe kidding kidding- my friends are attractive aren't they? :P hehe...

+added+
Speaking of attraction, I would like to emphasis the whole point of attraction. If you want to be viewed as 'attractive' to someone... do so, so you're still yourself. Don't change because you want someone to like you- what's the point? Because in the end, that person doesn't like you... that person likes someone else who you've acted out as.
I've seen so many people change just to make someone like them. It's pointless, because in the end you're not you... you're just someone else...
That goes for friendship and any sort of relationship!! *sigh* but if you're someone who's 'unlikable' in the sense where you're someone who is harasses, annoys, 'bitches' (sorry for the french)... you should change because you want to. Not because you want someone to like you. (Don't tell me off for saying that I haven't listed this point up!)
Change yourself, for you- people should like you for you.

inhabitants

2005-07-04T20:47:00.000+10:00

Jo (left) + Prashant (right)- our resident James Rouse people!

involvement

2005-07-04T20:46:00.001+10:00

Dashanti- sp? (left) and Jo (right)

image

2005-07-04T20:46:00.000+10:00

Matt (left) and James (right)... yeah don't question, I don't...

inveigle

2005-07-04T20:45:00.000+10:00

Me (left), Jo (middle) and Christina (right)- pretty aren't they?- the other ones... I mean..

identity

2005-07-04T20:44:00.000+10:00

Jess (left) and Jo (right)

intensity

2005-07-04T20:38:00.001+10:00

Jo (left) and Matt (right)

incorporation

2005-07-04T20:38:00.000+10:00

Ahh our favourite couple, who love to share everything- including illnesses ^_~ Ags (left) and Lev (right)

invigorating

2005-07-04T20:37:00.001+10:00

Wei jin (left) + Kayo (right)

incredible

2005-07-04T20:37:00.000+10:00

Jo (left) and Christina (right)- she's got contacts on... hehe, if you didn't know

indulgent

2005-07-04T20:36:00.001+10:00

group photo, left to right- Peter, Prashant, me, Jo + Kayo

intermingle

2005-07-04T20:36:00.000+10:00

Peter (left) and Jo (right) hrm a lot of Jo around ^_^

institute

2005-07-04T20:35:00.000+10:00

This is my wonderful MRS (medical Radiation Science) friends... from left to right- Peter, Jo, Christina, Kayo (back), Victor (back), Weijin (back-she's not MRS either! What's she doing there!! hehe), Prashant (back), Jess (far right), Peter (front), Matt (right, front)

influence

2005-07-04T20:33:00.000+10:00

Prashant (left) and Ags (right)- Ags comments that she's usually not that pale... :P

instinct

2005-07-04T20:32:00.000+10:00

Prashant being... well... *cough* horny *cough*... hahaha I had to put this one up!

informality

2005-07-04T20:31:00.001+10:00

Ags (left) and I (right) hrm... Prashant took this photo, so I won't comment.

incognito

2005-07-04T20:31:00.000+10:00

would like the point out Christina at the edge... remind you of a certian horror movie? hehe

inert

2005-07-04T20:30:00.000+10:00

Jo sleeping... need I say more? (such a cute photo)

interval

2005-07-04T20:29:00.000+10:00

sleepy Kayo (right) and I (left)- yeah that's how we enjoy our nights out... sleeping

intriguing

2005-07-04T20:28:00.000+10:00

Cute photo of Ags, and the pillow!

inactive

2005-07-04T20:27:00.000+10:00

This is our night out... as you can tell we have heaps of fun... sleeping o.O from left to right, Lev, Victor, James, Jo and Kayo

inferior

2005-06-18T13:50:00.000+10:00

It's a long long journey,
till I know where I'm supposed to be,
sometimes I feel like no one understands..
when pride builds me up till I can't see my soul,
will you break down these walls and pull me through,
'cause it's a long long journey,
till I feel that I'm worth the price
you paid for me on calvary
beneath those stormy skies...
Journey- Angela Zhang [Dolphin Bay Theme Song]

-thoughts in a nutshell-
:.suffering sin.:
pain of sorrow,
pain of regret,
whisper words of comfort,
my tattered soul
tainted with blood,
initiate warmth of embrace,
release my burden,
forgive my heart
forgive me
-
[Hosea 14:1-2]
There's one thing that has come to my attention,
I don't think I've ever been all too proud of the human race in general,
Except recently- the cancellation of debt.
$40b cancellation of debt owned by 18 countries-
although over $300b of debt still occurs, it's a start.
-A start of hope.
and perhaps an illustration of what's more to come.
'makes poverty history' ^_~

Exams are over, (for me) :P Good luck everyone else who has exams/assessment still ^_^
Having yumcha on thursday, I'm licking my lips in anticipation- can't wait-then movies and greenwood.
But still yumcha! I wish the all you can eat was opened, but it's closed for renovations *sigh*
And movie tomorrow! Though Ag can't come because she's got Glandula fever
*shakes head* tsk tsk, kissing your boyfriend who has tonsilitis hehe

I'm gonna die! hehe
on Sunday 11 November 2046- check it out, www.deathclock.com (when are you gonna die)
Oh no... my days are numbered...to a ripe ol' age of 59... well that's not too bad..
James (stickboy) is going to die earlier than me by 2 years...
darn, that sucks- he can't pay for my funeral...
maybe I'll just make him put it in his will- yeah, that sounds like an idea...

Well that's all I can think of... nothing much to say

It's not the fear of succeeding, rather the fear of succeeding of something that doesn't matter
(stolen from Carey :P- lovely reminder isn't it?)

inner

2005-06-07T03:01:00.000+10:00

I walk a lonely road,
the only one that I have ever known..
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating,
sometimes I wish someone out there will find me..
Boulevard Of Broken Dreams- Green Day

-thoughts in a nutshell-
:.broken reflection.:
in my hands held peices,
pieces that were once tangible,
now dreams of the broken.
/sands of time,
trapped underneath the burning sun,/
in my hands held peices,
remnants of what was shattered,
prices which were paid.
/silent darkness,
Overwhelming embrace of the moon,/
in my hands held peices,
of memories of whom I once was,
sacrifice of pretence future
/broken reflection,
locked secrets of the eclipse/
-
[1 cor 13]
Seeing it's the first month of the ABSOLUTELY FREEZING season, the season of typical reflection, lonliness and apathy. I thought I'd share with you what some things have been reflecting within my mind (of course vaguely...) so grab a cup of hot chocolate and make yourself comfortable (or you can just skip it, and miss out on the warm hot chocolate!)

First off, thank you. From friend to foe, brothers, sisters, and old and new alike- thanks. People make impressions within someone else's lives, whether lasting or not. And I'll appreciate what you guys have done for me, whether if you gave me pain or gave me comfort. I do appreciate all of you.
I also thank HIM for what he's given me and for what people he has destined to be in my life.

Perspectives, everything is in perspective. From a way you view someone is different to someone else's assessment of them. I could believe that one was an absolute angel, and yet you'd believe they were the devil's incarnate.
What perspective of me you have, is absolutely different to my own perspective of myself. I realise that, I'm nothing of what you think... or maybe I'm something which I cannot think myself to be.
You may say I'm all this, but I can't believe you- I am what I built myself to be, what I am insecure about, what I believe is bought upon myself. I'm sorry for all the times I cannot believe you, but it's hard... especially for a stubborn pessimist like I. ~_^
Nevertheless, it's all in perspective, you may see a problem as a heaven send, and I would believe it like hell bought.
Perspectives are where opinions differentiate, and where the norm is never the norm.

This thought comes from church, Eph:3... We are all time-bound creatures, humans which cannot escape the daily grind (hehe gloria jeans). Season to season it's all the same in the end, our time is something we cannot free ourselves from. There's a time for death, a time for birth. A time for everything under the sun, we are not creatures of free will. No, we are beings enslaved to time. From organisers, watches, alarms - we are enlaved, trapped with the essense of time looming around us as we do our daily routines.
How are we to break a tie that's so tightly bound to us?

Memories are forever with you, from things that you need to remember to things that make you laugh, things that make you sad. Memories are moments, moments which remind you that things aren't forever.
Life is never stable, being best friends one moment to hating each other the next. Moments in life, which flash before you-pain, happiness, emptiness, enjoyment... it's all memories, all moments that made you who you are in the present.
Memories are nothing more than intangible dreams, which we remind ourselves of. Untouchable moments which live in our past; If we live in our memories, we can never go towards the future- though there are moments when you just want to live in the past. Ironically, we are built from our memories and past and become who were are now in the present.
'Memories are nice, but that's all they are.'

Ignorance is a bliss, so they say. I say it's only a damned fool which thinks so- ignorance causes conflicts, problems and upsets others. Innocence, certainly is a bliss- Ignorance is not.
Your ignorant actions always create more havoc, more grief and more stupidity. Don't you see? Your opinions are nothing but a perspective which you were bought up with, look on the other side of the grass, look at the other side of the river for once.
Look at what your idiocy can affect!
There are always two sides to a story, don't just believe one and leave at that. Acknowledge the other side before you lay out your opinions of hate, anger and malice... search, reason, analyse what the other perspective is... don't just believe you're right- for you blindness can be your greatest downfall.
Ignorant bliss is a fools path of stupidity.

Okay I'm done..

:love:

How children a bought up greatly influence their view on love and attatchment behaviours.

Three basic attatchment styles (Bowlby):

avoidant- parents don't teach them to be intimate, therefore distant, avoidant and uncomfotable in relationships.
anxious/ambivalent- inconsistent parenting, at times rejecting and at times loving. Children grow up not knowing what to expect in intimate relationships, anxious and fearful of rejection.
secure-normal amount of discipline, provided with love nad comfort. Learn to know that relationships can work, able to be intimate with others.

lovestyles theory:

eros- erotic love, love of perfect beauty, physical idealogy (however not just lust)
ludus- love of entertainment, flirtatious relationship, excitement of the fling not long term
storge- companion love, lover is your best friend, intimate, long lasting and warm
mania- teenage love, desperate and out of control love, excessive and emotional
pragma- suitiable, it's useful to love your partner (right age, right contacts, etc)
agape- seffless all giving love

Strange that out of all the lovestyles, the one that seems more successful is the one which seems most cold. Pragma is most successful and most fulfilling lovestyle; your partner is useful just useful and suitable to you.

Okay, that's all- sorry about the long read. Maybe I should have told you to get two hot chocolates ready..^_^ (to make you all fat! especially Agatha...)

indebt

2005-05-26T03:52:00.000+10:00

Find me here
speak to me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
...How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Everything- Lifehouse

-thoughts in a nutshell-
:.pink rose.:
You're my reason,
Embedded in my soul,
for everything you've done,
and for what's more to come.
You're my reason,
whispering within my heart,
for my moment of life,
for my time of strife.
You're my reason...
I welcome everything you've given,
for the sunshine, for the rain,
for the peace and for the pain..
thank you.
-
[Matt 11:28]

:stupid thing of the week [last week now]:
I can't get by the week without doing something stupid can I?
This one is particularly noted as something so stupid that even I have to laugh, so what else to do but share my stupidity with all my friends.

So we were sitting there in psychology, looking over at Agatha's ibook (note: not a normal laptop) with Prashant on the other side looking through various photos.

Agatha (aka Ag): Oh, I'll show you the picture of that malaysian guy and you tell me if you think he's hot..
Alex: Okay... (picture appears -it is to be noted that only a guy and a girl appared on the screen and I stupidly reponded)- Which one?
Ag: what do you mean which one??
Prashant: *laughing manically* I'm pretty sure there is only one guy...
Alex: *hits head on table thinking how stupid she is*
Ag + Prashant: *laughs loudly at stupidity of Alex*

So apparently I can't differentiate genders. Well at least I'm not gender discriminative eh? That's a plus... I think o.O..okay maybe not...

No bubbleboy *sigh* I'm sorry Nay, I can't get over at how sorry I am TT_TT I really wanted to go see it with you... sorry sorry sorry, we'll watch something else... >.< Russian Ballet I say, well that's up to you- no inspirational Shakespeare out that I really want to see at the moment... Anything you really dying to see? We should try and get people to come (10 at least) so I can have it cheaper... hehe

ASIDE from my stupid moment in psychology, you learn a great deal of intesting little facts

:leadership and followers:

A leader should be identified be a person designated, focus of group members, most popular person or most influential- however leaders do not always have all factors identified. Fieldler's theory of leadership effectiveness, states that people who are good at leading one type of group may not be good at leading a different type of group.

The different styles of leadership (Bass) are

Idealised influence (behaviour)- leading by example
Idealised influence (attributed)- leading by means of charisma
inspirational motivation- ability to inspire followers (could be through the use of vision, missions etc) to provide meaning and challenges to a follower's work
intellectual stimulation- actions that challenge followers to expand their abilities
individualised consideration-actions which attend to the unique developmental and performance needs of each follower
Contingent reward- leaders uses rewards and recognition for goals as motivating forces
Management-by-exception (active)- leaders focused on monitoring tasks for any mistakes or complaints that were likely to occur, before problems arose
Management-by-exception (passive)- reactive leadership where the leader only intervened after problems arose

Various groups have various leaders. What kind of leaders are surrounding you? (including yourself if you want)

:attraction and love:

factors which affect attraction:

arousal- reaction
familiarity- more you know someone, or subliminal exposures (don't have to know them, but see them around)
propinquity- physical closeness
similarity- similarity of attitudes etc
amnient mood- meet them during good circumstances and environment
disinhibition- conformed to appropriate behaviours of social situations
physical attraction- initial factor of attraction which overrides anything else

Also physical attractive people are judged to be more: intelligent, adjusted, sociable, honest, interesting, independent, exciting and successful- this is due to people's general acceptance to physically attractive individuals.

People are generally nicer to physically attractive people, thus if you're 'ugly as sin', as my lecturer says, you will tend to develop the opposite of what physically attractive people are such as being less sociable (because of being less accepted) and so on. So having all those characteristics for attractive people are generally attributed due to others judgement upon them.

Attractive men usually are confident, assertive, often in women's company, educated and have a pretigious job.
Yet attractive women [unfortunately for men :P] are less trusting of men.

love TBC- meh I'm lazy (just remind me..o.O)

mainichi mainichi tottemo tsura

-

Sorry, that was last weeks post that I never bothered to publish...but here it is! (I'll actually update on my next post...)

interim

2005-05-18T18:21:00.000+10:00

Darling harbour and tough tattoos- Derek's super tough tattoo of bob the builder! (Ev wasn't that far off with a Spiderman of his own! >.<)

implicate

2005-05-09T22:08:00.000+10:00

between how it is and how it could be..
where can you run to escape from yourself?
I dare you to move..
like today never happened before
Dare You To Move- Switchfoot

-thoughts in a nutshell-
:.timeless minutes.:
time only blurs,
the residue moments
phases return
the forgotten memories
tides continues
to retain fragmented thoughts

[time only blurs... heals the fleeting pain]
-
between the time and a moment, I'm not sure which I have been to... I'm not sure which one I want to be to. Standing on a borderline, between reality and dreams... I'm not sure which is better- let me rest, let me rest within your thoughts

Damn it! It seems that I can't win in this sydney populated... population!
Poor little Canberrian me, trying to make a decent living in a big, big city...

So there was Soggy, wearing his usual pink polo shirt- with a new concept of glasses perched upon his nose. Amber and I walk out the door to notice Soggy in his new fashion...
Amber: *laughs* Soggy in glasses
Alex (aka Canberra): He looks intelligent-
Amber: for the first time!
Everyone (whoever happened to be there): *laugh*
Soggy: Shut up Canberra
Alex: *stops laughing and pouts defeated*
Everyone: *laugh*

Poor little Canberrian me can't seem to get a big break in the big wide world called Sydney and their inhabitants... I can't win!
But what better way to win, then to take them to Canberra and force them to live in cramped little Canberra tents (err.. yeah I didn't really clear that rumour up with Sydney people... and we apparently all live on farms as well -_-;; and that we have an endless supply of firecrackers) So Sydney people will live in tents for the sake of a little winter snow... ^_^- hopefully... haha

Hrm... let's see, $25 to get almost naked... I think I can handle that, anyone else from Usyd wanna come along, you get money! hehe.. if that's any incentive... (don't worry nothing perverted, I know how you guys think *cough*amber*cough* ^_~)

Oh who wants to watch Bubbleboy? well bubble man (micheal buble)... october 3! Come.. everyone come! it'll be awesome! ^_^ $85 for tickets though... but I think it'll be worth it. Nay and I are going so far- anyone else who wants to join this expedition?

Oh for those who expect me to call them, I'm out of credit- $0.81c -_-;; kinda expected coming from me eh?

:for those who are interested into society:

Discourse is a partial forms of knowledge, or grids of understanding, or thoughts and constructions, which are linked with specific social practices. Generate specific identies, and promote certain modes of behaviour. Discourses are systems of thought that do not mrealy refelct of represent 'reality', but actually serve to contruct it in the first place...

in other words, discourse shapes who were are, what we are, what our thinking pattern is like and how we act like... discourses can change and that changes our thought processess- which means there is no such thing as an 'absolute truth' because the 'absolute truth' continously gets reviewed.
The major benifactor/example for discourse is religion vs science, the shift focus of religion to science was created over history. Our absolute truth of God working in mysterious ways we couldn't comprehend was suddenly thought in an absolute truth of scientific reasoning (not to say God isn't a truth for anyone) But our human focuses are scientific analysis...

We as humans are always involved in discourses which challenge our 'absolute truths'

Thanks for the end of the week though, I appreciated it ^_^ seriously (even though now I have heaps and heaps of work to do now *sigh*)

Oh and Fishyboy... ZERGS ARE THE BEST!

note to self:

buy milk
buy bread
wash dishes
kill suzie
buy meat
clean room

ah old jokes never die ^_^
ja...

insipid

2005-04-29T01:30:00.000+10:00

the pictures at Ag's request of our night out, ergh bad photo [aren't they always] of me (left- if you don't remember who I look like o.O) and Agatha (right)- went the darling harbour, so nice at night ^_^

include

2005-04-29T01:28:00.000+10:00

Carey (left) and Ella (right) ^_^

increase

2005-04-29T01:26:00.000+10:00

Carey (left) birthday boy and Tom (right)- happy birthday, to both of ya's!

involve

2005-04-29T01:24:00.000+10:00

Agatha and her boyfriend Micheal (Lev), sorry to dissapoint you guys- hehe [by the way that's a funky beer bottle, it's made out of plastic!]

in

2005-04-29T01:21:00.000+10:00

Tom and Carey once more, Carey being a yuppie on the phone.. hehe

isolate

2005-04-27T17:42:00.000+10:00

Caught in a one way street,
with the monsters in your head...
there has always been heartache and pain,
... breathe again
Crash and Burn-Savage Garden

-thoughts in a nutshell-
:.empty fulfillment.:
Forever has come and Gone
the past has come to quickly
fading fast In the shadows
only A moment of yesterday resides
and the pain of tomorrow Reigns
Live eternity for today
lost from memories Evermore
-
Insomnia makes the mind think too much- and it eats it away...

Anyone seen Strangers on a Train? I wanna watch...(CSI..)

Aroma Cafe sucks! Okay price there is good, service there is terrible- but that's beside the point... the point is it sucks for one soul reason.
I hate croakcroaches! Yeah so imagine when a croackcroach lands on your neck, crawling with it's sticky little 6 legs- then imagine seeing it as big as your (well my) palm! (length wise mind you) No exaggeration- ask my parents they saw the huge bugger!
What did I do when it landed on my neck crawling? I freaked for all I was worth!
... *shudders* I still can imagine it's spinely little legs on my neck crawling... I couldn't eat at the cafe when food was served, actually no- I did eat a little, I just didn't enjoy it. Still thinking about the huge croakcroach that could have possibly be in my food... luckily for me I didn't order crispy chicken skin like I wanted to or else I would have thought that the crispy skin was the lovely shell of the croakcroach, crunching and eating croakcroach isn't exactly on the menu for me... (raise your hands if you won't eat crispy chicken for a while now? :P mmm croakcroachy...)

It's worse than the time a spider decided to crawl on my neck from shoulder to shoulder... yeah eight crawling legs slowly moving on my neck, but the croakcroach incident was worse! hrm... maybe I need some sort of neck-bug repellent... that would ward stupid bugs off my neck!

Anzac weekend was good, all you can eat yumcha with Ev and Derek was excellent... we ate till we were almost bursting! So much food... best place to get a good feed and your money's worth! (all you can eat mango pudding! :P)
Sunday night was pretty cool as well, found Imax safely (thanks to Ag)... Haha but next time we definately have to actually line up- either that or make the guys look like girls somehow... o.O

I HATE COP! *kicks it to the ground and stomps on it* DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE! ARGH!
*breathes out* okay there's my release...

*kicks it once more for good measure*

Good day to you all...

inclination

2005-04-23T00:08:00.000+10:00

I will search for all eternity long
and find there is none like you
-there is none like you

-thoughts in a nutshell-
:.silent whispers.:
the harsh light of reality,
the gentle darkness of slumber
barriers lost when black encloses
found moments drowned in sweet dreams
light reveals the endless scars of fear
temporary darkness embraces...
-my dreams of you
-
lada it's true!
gals may be better at conversations, YET guys are bigger gossipers! (don't even argue!)
gals are also better mathematics from 1998 (i think that's right)
but don't celebrate yet chicka's, unfortunately- gals are still the worse drivers... *sigh* damnit and we were going so well...
one more thing, gals may be sensitive + compassionate in public but in private they're harsh + 'bitchy'... it's the opposite for guys- they're tough ("macho") in public but compassionate in private (your secrets are out fellas!)

I failed badly, how did everyone else go?

nothing much to update actually- seeing Ev (cousin) tomorrow for lunch, parents coming down... went slightly funky and yeah that's about it. Maybe going out, if Ag's going :P where ever the hell Imax is... where is imax?
See Yv! There's nothing to update *sigh*...

That's who it is, Lacey Chabert- she's the girl who looks like that... umm... what's her face... Jennifer Love! she's from party of five (actually they're both from party of five if I remember correctly)- if any of you's know party of five, now that's quality series, granted that I don't remember any of it at all!... But I'm certain it's better than all this OC crap... (*runs away and hides from OC lovers*) Fresh prince of bel air was better... I think... bah don't make me talk about television- I know nothing... by the way, what's this summerland stuff? sounds dodgey to me..

I still want to watch Amnityville- wonder if it'll still be on... hrm..

Have a good anzac long weekend guys
~lest we forget~

integrity

2005-04-18T00:37:00.000+10:00

So open up your morning light,
and say a little prayer for I,
...so dig a little more deeply
all we have is this very moment
I don't want to wait-Dido

-thoughts in a nutshell-
:.heavy implications.:
viper tongues
hawking eyes
kill your voice
destroy your feet
who do you think you are?
hardened hearts
thoughtless minds
terminate your hands
kill your life
Why don't you salvage your dignity?
::Mk 9:43-47::
-
Booyaga- tomorrow is the last day for Danie, Nay and Markus- got ourselves lost... but hey! At least we saw the smart bridge, Markus' future job, the harbour, coathanger and opera house all at once! So it was a little detour sightseeing on the way to the rocks! >.< next time we'll try and find the chocolate cafe because of the poor pancakes we had at pancakes on the rocks..
DDR/burnout/tekken were all cool as well, though I suck at burnout now seem to hesitate more bah at least I beat Mark once -_-;; that's not even worth boasting about...kehehe
Hillsongs (in the city) was okay, I think o.O wasn't as charasmatic as I expected it to be. And at least I got 5 out of the 7 lacks (2 out of the 5 lacks whichever you care to name), it's not that bad seeing how tired I was. Apparently was about to plunk my head down on the person beside me shoulder a couple of times, that would have be awkward... for him at least, I would be in lala land by then hehe

Kaka, that's all I have to update- nothing much happening in uni, by the way Ag, have you done that biochem booklet yet? I can't do it! And I haven't studied at all! -_-... help! Hehe also Ag, you missed out on friday- we had next weeks lecture notes for Sociology (because he forgot that weeks lecture notes) hehe means no need to stay late on tuesdays! [do you want the notes?]

And all those canberra bums, come up to Sydney- easier for me to see you guys hehe :P (Ange you coming up this coming weekend?)

illusion

2005-04-12T19:04:00.000+10:00

This thing called love..
It swings, it jives,...
I kinda like it
Crazy little thing called love
Crazy little thing called love- Michael Buble

-thoughts in a nutshell-
:.evolved blends.:
opening to souls,
singing for smiles,
offered to hearts,
aiding the scars,
shattered to hurts,
bonded for life
-
SWING AND ROCK N ROLL ARE AWESOME! You all must do it! Not only the music is great, the atmosphere, the dancing are all fantastic!
I can't describe it, but I love the dancing style... and guess what Danie, you're gonna be my partner whilst your up here because I love the dances so much!
I recommend everyone to do them, even if you're uncoordinated like I, (I dropped yoghurt [semi-my fault] and tomato sauce today -_-;;;) it's easy to pick up and learn! Then you can go to the swing dance clubs! hehe, but learn for the experience... you'll enjoy it!
It gives you so much happy energy afterwards, I s'pose it's because you don't have the seriousness as most dancing styles do- it's more playful. Love it!

Lion King was also brilliant, if you guys won't do swing/rock'n'roll then you must watch the lion king (you can dance after you watch lion king-hehe)- it's so bright, the dancing, the music... You all must watch it, it'll more than likely be a once in a lifetime thing- so watch it. It's so lively and expressive. Would love to watch it again, if it didn't cost so much >.<

Interesting things you learn...
They tell you what you think, then you think it's real, thus it's real... and yet ironically you can't make it unreal... bah! I want to unlearn seeing television pictures...! interesting to hear the way our society works like that... we are told that there is a picture on television, thus we think that, then we actually see the image on television...
Same with PMT, we are told that PMT is there, then we think it's there, thus it happens... (but it's all just our mind set with society to think that it is there...) That's all I've learnt in Uni for the course of 5 weeks, hehe kidding kidding they're not that slack... almost, but not quite..

ja-ne

impart

2005-04-09T23:53:00.001+10:00

here's solomon island... or here is the water surrounding the island...I met your challenge James... told you I have stupid pictures of you...

infuse

2005-04-09T23:53:00.000+10:00

Here's james in solomon island... lovely fashion shot there- I wonder if he got any tips from Markus-zoolander...

instigate

2005-04-09T23:52:00.000+10:00

this is James once more... I'm not quite sure if it's attempting to imitate a monkey... must be the solomon island air...

ignite

2005-04-08T22:46:00.000+10:00

Let this be our prayer, when we lose our way.
Lead us to a place, guide us with your grace
To a place where we’ll be safe
The prayer- Andrea Bocelli

-thoughts in a nutshell-
:.winged dissonance.:
drowing in the air I breath,
falling in the upwards motion,
freezing in the heated warmth,
Hurt in the utmost care,
Learning how to fly again
-
Okay... hurrah! Go people with holidays and are coming up to Sydney ^_^... Nay, Markus and Idiot are coming up this coming Friday and I'm gonna have heaps of fun... Saturday is free with you all? Hrm, I'm not sure of what to do seeing that I don't know anything in Sydney, aside from Westfield and Wollies -_-;; oh and my Uni of course... but I'll find something to do, eating I'm sure is the main thing for mini-vaccum cleaner...
Nay staying at sis' place, Danie staying at sis' place... mark you don't have a sis... (ones that pretend they're not aren't counted.. hehe kidding kidding...) I assume you're staying at Gerry's?
Anything in particular you guys want to see or do? Yes... krispy kremes can be arranged- actually I think there is a cafe somewhere around.. I'll check that up... What time are you guys leaving?

Capoeira is sore! Haha, I feel sore all over and it didn't help when we walked down George street... but I got my manga in the end... ^_^. Learnt to jinger, hehe that's interesting it's the move that Eddy does when you're doing nothing but 'standing'- if you play Tekken you'll understand. And do somewhat of a spinning kick, I can't do it properly though, and a monkey flip.. haha that's a awesome flip (yet again if I could do it)... No Nay to hold my hand though! >.<- [An! You weren't there either, had to go off and do work didn't you!]

Anyone up for swing? Amber use your psych. knowledge to persuade your mum! "But wait there's more!!..." ^_^ hehe

Mmm, sweet corn soup is good soup... I think I need a cook -_-;; So very lazy (Haha Danie you're coming down here and cooking for me!)

Might be taking up Wing chun and salsa
Oh and definately have to find a cello teacher of some sort- yes, splurging on hobbies at the moment (and Manga)... and it's not good, I'll be surprised if I don't have enough funds to go to Japania at the end of the year- but as Ev always says... when in need look for Grandma... haha (no I won't be that mean, I'll mooch off my parents! hehe kidding kidding... I'll try and lay off my funds...try...)

Lion King tomorrow! ^_^ That'll be fun... and of course mum coming with, which means eating out, which means good food... now that's a luxury hehehe...

Mmm food- Catchya!

import

2005-04-05T23:45:00.000+10:00

"ooohhh" isn't he handsome and charming? haha, done at Ann's partay- I don't know what my friends are talking about o.O you look weird...

imply

2005-04-05T18:29:00.000+10:00

I've been staring at the sky tonight,
marvelling and passing time
wondering what to do with daylight
Arithmetic- Brooke Fraser

-thoughts in a nutshell-
:.vintage future.:
Red lips,
white veil,
and something blue
Happy smile,
Joyful tears,
but one thing is true
If I say no,
would you say yes,
for I love you too
-
That stupid assignment! Finished it, and all the lecturer wants is to check on it- it's not due till next week... how pathetically gay, all that procrastination for nothing! Nothing I tell you! Bah... (Ag, you better not be procrastinating though!) Though we still have that inclass essay on friday-which sucks

Stupidly forgot my keys yesterday... yeah that was FUN!

Oh, and found out that one of the most skinnest chika know can eat a full pizza! 8 slices! I don't know how you do that... Where does it all go Ag? You must tell me your secret...

Ha, my brother is apparently good looking- bahaha, I don't know you ask my friends at uni... they were looking through my laptop- haha, "who's this ehhhh?" *suggestive nudge* "my brother..." *flat voice* "Darn..." *dissapointed look*

Well at least someone out there thinks you're cute bro... o.O although my friends must have bad taste >.< hehehe

Hmm, gonna sleep, maybe draw... and a little bit of procrastination before study...

I didn't send it today sorry, tomorrow I will- I forgot the addy, well I didn't but better safe than sorry- it'll come, patience padawan, patience... thinking of callin' ya Anakin because of you lack of patience (because you're a boy *rolls eyes*) and your love for star wars... n/aki for short... what you think?

input

2005-04-04T19:09:00.000+10:00

This is a picture of Nay when she fell asleep at the computer, and my brother was talking to himself for 40 minutes... don't ask me how he didn't figure out she was in dreamland...

implore

2005-04-03T23:26:00.000+10:00

How the hell did we wind up like this?...
Someday, somehow I´m gonna make it alright,
but not right now..
Someday- Nickleback

-thoughts in a nutshell-
:.misplaced kindle.:
hope a dead word,
dead is worth living,
worth has no value,
no an empty response,
empty filled with noise,
with heart fallen,
heart is a hope hurt
-
yup I'm bored, dead bored and no I haven't continued with my work... I need fairy (need a name change eh? but not gangsta-wannabe-name) to tell me to do it.
It's kinda of weird coming back, but that's okay..

Quote:If you wait for me Then I'll come for you. Although I've travelled far, I always hold a place for you In my heart. If you think of me, If you miss me once in a while, Then I'll return to you. I'll return and fill that space in your heart

-- that was from a personality test, *shrugs* sounds cool eh? 'my' words of wisdom for the time I'm up in Sydney ^_^ not like you guys would be empty without me though, but if you miss me once in a while... I'll come back hehe.. if you don't, I have better things to do! haha

Hmm... well I better do some work...
take care

inform

2005-04-02T21:37:00.000+10:00

Yeah was meant to post this up as well, damn it! >_< Stupid personality tests!
Also got Coquette, something to do with hard to get- I agree with Nay's friend though- I don't play hard to get, I AM hard to get
kehe

Your Seduction Style: Siren / Rake

You possess an unbridled sensuality that appeals to many.
The minute you meet anyone, you can make the crave you almost immediately.
You give others the chance to lose control with you... spiraling into carnal bliss.
A dangerous lover, you both fascinate and scare those you attract.

What Is Your Seduction Style?

inner

2005-04-02T21:10:00.000+10:00

mata yo ga akereba owakare,yume wa tooki maboroshi ni...
[We part once again at the break of dawn, My dreams becoming distant apparitions]
Shiki No Uta- Minmi [Samurai Champloo Ending Theme Song]

-thoughts in a nutshell-
:.vacant serenity.:
why look for four leaf clovers,
why look for rarity,
contentment in norm,
grow your way,
reach for the sun your way,
just enough to be different
three can always be good your way.
-
Yup, was thinking/looking for four leaf clovers when Nay STOOD ME UP! Haha, interchange board isn't the information section... hehe Honey Malt with a Hint of Nutmeg was good and definately enjoyable- when is it never?, I hope Hot White Chocolate (second dosage of chocolate) was good too? ^_^Was thinking a week wasn't enough, only if you guys had holidays then maybe it would have been! -yeah all your fault guys!

Horror was good, not scary if at all except that thought that it happens in real life... I enjoyed being with you people, from 9 onwards ^_^In fact the whole friday was good!
Cousin, his friend, my friend, his girlfriend, a pool table and naked pictures were hilarious- we must do it again; so relaxing and close knit atmosphere- so content.
Shopping was okay, no beanie! >_<

Got 92 on that 'how fast you can type' thing hehe... should attempt to get 100 hey? okay enough..

must.
do.
work.
-_-