I walk a lonely road,the only one that I have ever known..My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating,sometimes I wish someone out there will find me..Boulevard Of Broken Dreams- Green Day-thoughts in a nutshell-:.broken reflection.:in my hands held peices,pieces that were once tangible,now dreams of the broken./sands of time,trapped underneath the burning sun,/in my hands held peices,remnants of what was shattered,prices which were paid./silent darkness,Overwhelming embrace of the moon,/in my hands held peices,of memories of whom I once was,sacrifice of pretence future/broken reflection,locked secrets of the eclipse/-[1 cor 13]Seeing it's the first month of the ABSOLUTELY FREEZING season, the season of typical reflection, lonliness and apathy. I thought I'd share with you what some things have been reflecting within my mind (of course vaguely...) so grab a cup of hot chocolate and make yourself comfortable (or you can just skip it, and miss out on the warm hot chocolate!)First off, thank you. From friend to foe, brothers, sisters, and old and new alike- thanks. People make impressions within someone else's lives, whether lasting or not. And I'll appreciate what you guys have done for me, whether if you gave me pain or gave me comfort. I do appreciate all of you.I also thank HIM for what he's given me and for what people he has destined to be in my life.Perspectives, everything is in perspective. From a way you view someone is different to someone else's assessment of them. I could believe that one was an absolute angel, and yet you'd believe they were the devil's incarnate.What perspective of me you have, is absolutely different to my own perspective of myself. I realise that, I'm nothing of what you think... or maybe I'm something which I cannot think myself to be.You may say I'm all this, but I can't believe you- I am what I built myself to be, what I am insecure about, what I believe is bought upon myself. I'm sorry for all the times I cannot believe you, but it's hard... especially for a stubborn pessimist like I. ~_^Nevertheless, it's all in perspective, you may see a problem as a heaven send, and I would believe it like hell bought.Perspectives are where opinions differentiate, and where the norm is never the norm.This thought comes from church, Eph:3... We are all time-bound creatures, humans which cannot escape the daily grind (hehe gloria jeans). Season to season it's all the same in the end, our time is something we cannot free ourselves from. There's a time for death, a time for birth. A time for everything under the sun, we are not creatures of free will. No, we are beings enslaved to time. From organisers, watches, alarms - we are enlaved, trapped with the essense of time looming around us as we do our daily routines.How are we to break a tie that's so tightly bound to us?Memories are forever with you, from things that you need to remember to things that make you laugh, things that make you sad. Memories are moments, moments which remind you that things aren't forever.Life is never stable, being best friends one moment to hating each other the next. Moments in life, which flash before you-pain, happiness, emptiness, enjoyment... it's all memories, all moments that made you who you are in the present.Memories are nothing more than intangible dreams, which we remind ourselves of. Untouchable moments which live in our past; If we live in our memories, we can never go towards the future- though there are moments when you just want to live in the past. Ironically, we are built from our memories and past and become who were are now in the present.'Memories are nice, but that's all they are.'Ignorance is a bliss, so they say. I say it's only a damned fool which thinks so- ignorance causes conflicts, problems and upsets others. Innocence, certainly is a bliss- Ignorance is not.Your ignorant actions always create more havoc, more grief and more stupidity. Don't you see? Your opinions are nothing but a perspective which you were bought up with, look on the other side of the grass, look at the other side of the river for once.Look at what your idiocy can affect!There are always two sides to a story, don't just believe one and leave at that. Acknowledge the other side before you lay out your opinions of hate, anger and malice... search, reason, analyse what the other perspective is... don't just believe you're right- for you blindness can be your greatest downfall.Ignorant bliss is a fools path of stupidity.Okay I'm done..:love:How children a bought up greatly influence their view on love and attatchment behaviours.Three basic attatchment styles (Bowlby): avoidant- parents don't teach them to be intimate, therefore distant, avoidant and uncomfotable in relationships. anxious/ambivalent- inconsistent parenting, at times rejecting and at times loving. Children grow up not knowing what to expect in intimate relationships, anxious and fearful of rejection.secure-normal amount of discipline, provided with love nad comfort. Learn to know that relationships can work, able to be intimate with others. lovestyles theory: eros- erotic love, love of perfect beauty, physical idealogy (however not just lust) ludus- love of entertainment, flirtatious relationship, excitement of the fling not long term storge- companion love, lover is your best friend, intimate, long lasting and warm mania- teenage love, desperate and out of control love, excessive and emotional pragma- suitiable, it's useful to love your partner (right age, right contacts, etc) agape- seffless all giving love Strange that out of all the lovestyles, the one that seems more successful is the one which seems most cold. Pragma is most successful and most fulfilling lovestyle; your partner is useful just useful and suitable to you.Okay, that's all- sorry about the long read. Maybe I should have told you to get two hot chocolates ready..^_^ (to make you all fat! especially Agatha...)

I walk a lonely road,
the only one that I have ever known..
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating,
sometimes I wish someone out there will find me..
Boulevard Of Broken Dreams- Green Day

-thoughts in a nutshell-
:.broken reflection.:
in my hands held peices,
pieces that were once tangible,
now dreams of the broken.
/sands of time,
trapped underneath the burning sun,/
in my hands held peices,
remnants of what was shattered,
prices which were paid.
/silent darkness,
Overwhelming embrace of the moon,/
in my hands held peices,
of memories of whom I once was,
sacrifice of pretence future
/broken reflection,
locked secrets of the eclipse/
-
[1 cor 13]
Seeing it's the first month of the ABSOLUTELY FREEZING season, the season of typical reflection, lonliness and apathy. I thought I'd share with you what some things have been reflecting within my mind (of course vaguely...) so grab a cup of hot chocolate and make yourself comfortable (or you can just skip it, and miss out on the warm hot chocolate!)

First off, thank you. From friend to foe, brothers, sisters, and old and new alike- thanks. People make impressions within someone else's lives, whether lasting or not. And I'll appreciate what you guys have done for me, whether if you gave me pain or gave me comfort. I do appreciate all of you.
I also thank HIM for what he's given me and for what people he has destined to be in my life.

Perspectives, everything is in perspective. From a way you view someone is different to someone else's assessment of them. I could believe that one was an absolute angel, and yet you'd believe they were the devil's incarnate.
What perspective of me you have, is absolutely different to my own perspective of myself. I realise that, I'm nothing of what you think... or maybe I'm something which I cannot think myself to be.
You may say I'm all this, but I can't believe you- I am what I built myself to be, what I am insecure about, what I believe is bought upon myself. I'm sorry for all the times I cannot believe you, but it's hard... especially for a stubborn pessimist like I. ~_^
Nevertheless, it's all in perspective, you may see a problem as a heaven send, and I would believe it like hell bought.
Perspectives are where opinions differentiate, and where the norm is never the norm.

This thought comes from church, Eph:3... We are all time-bound creatures, humans which cannot escape the daily grind (hehe gloria jeans). Season to season it's all the same in the end, our time is something we cannot free ourselves from. There's a time for death, a time for birth. A time for everything under the sun, we are not creatures of free will. No, we are beings enslaved to time. From organisers, watches, alarms - we are enlaved, trapped with the essense of time looming around us as we do our daily routines.
How are we to break a tie that's so tightly bound to us?

Memories are forever with you, from things that you need to remember to things that make you laugh, things that make you sad. Memories are moments, moments which remind you that things aren't forever.
Life is never stable, being best friends one moment to hating each other the next. Moments in life, which flash before you-pain, happiness, emptiness, enjoyment... it's all memories, all moments that made you who you are in the present.
Memories are nothing more than intangible dreams, which we remind ourselves of. Untouchable moments which live in our past; If we live in our memories, we can never go towards the future- though there are moments when you just want to live in the past. Ironically, we are built from our memories and past and become who were are now in the present.
'Memories are nice, but that's all they are.'

Ignorance is a bliss, so they say. I say it's only a damned fool which thinks so- ignorance causes conflicts, problems and upsets others. Innocence, certainly is a bliss- Ignorance is not.
Your ignorant actions always create more havoc, more grief and more stupidity. Don't you see? Your opinions are nothing but a perspective which you were bought up with, look on the other side of the grass, look at the other side of the river for once.
Look at what your idiocy can affect!
There are always two sides to a story, don't just believe one and leave at that. Acknowledge the other side before you lay out your opinions of hate, anger and malice... search, reason, analyse what the other perspective is... don't just believe you're right- for you blindness can be your greatest downfall.
Ignorant bliss is a fools path of stupidity.

Okay I'm done..

:love:

How children a bought up greatly influence their view on love and attatchment behaviours.

Three basic attatchment styles (Bowlby):

• avoidant- parents don't teach them to be intimate, therefore distant, avoidant and uncomfotable in relationships.
• anxious/ambivalent- inconsistent parenting, at times rejecting and at times loving. Children grow up not knowing what to expect in intimate relationships, anxious and fearful of rejection.
• secure-normal amount of discipline, provided with love nad comfort. Learn to know that relationships can work, able to be intimate with others.

lovestyles theory:

• eros- erotic love, love of perfect beauty, physical idealogy (however not just lust)
• ludus- love of entertainment, flirtatious relationship, excitement of the fling not long term
• storge- companion love, lover is your best friend, intimate, long lasting and warm
• mania- teenage love, desperate and out of control love, excessive and emotional
• pragma- suitiable, it's useful to love your partner (right age, right contacts, etc)
  
• agape- seffless all giving love

Strange that out of all the lovestyles, the one that seems more successful is the one which seems most cold. Pragma is most successful and most fulfilling lovestyle; your partner is useful just useful and suitable to you.

Okay, that's all- sorry about the long read. Maybe I should have told you to get two hot chocolates ready..^_^ (to make you all fat! especially Agatha...)